Stats for today : Morning BG 87, Afternoon BG 79, Evening BG 75. 1 Bar, 4 shakes, no off eating. 37 minutes on the bike this morning, 33 minutes this evening.
I downloaded onto my phone a fitness tracking program. According to it, I took in 750 calories, and burned 261 calories with exercise, that means a net of 489 calories. I sure hope that is not too low and is putting me into starvation mode. I really want to see a nice weight drop on Thursday. I do however love that I am able to put in 1 hour of exercise every day right now. I did not think my energy levels would be what they are at this point. I really hope I can keep this up.
On to the title of today's blog. As a fund raiser for the March of Dimes my family went to a place to make pottery and fused glass. If I was artistic in the least I would really get into glass working, but nothing I make turns out how I want it to look and I just don't have it in me to get good at it. But as it was a fund raiser the family hosting it brought in cup cakes. In the past I would have had at least 2, and possibly 3 cup cakes. I would have done 1 pink cup cake for my daughter Bella who died, 1 blue for my son Oscar who died, and I would have snuck one random color one for my son Tittle who died. Plus I would have finished what ever my son Gus had left behind. Instead, had NONE!
I wanted one, I really did. I love frosting. I have gotten a can of frosting and just ate the whole thing, multiple times. But I didn't have one. I even was being so mindful of what was going near my mouth that when I got some frosting on my fingers while helping my son open his cup cake I went and wiped it off. I wanted to lick my finger off so bad, and really I am sure it would have been just a few calories. It just came down to the principle of it. I can do this. I can eat what I am suppose to. I can learn how my brain works in regards to food. I can become a mindful eater. Some day I will even be able to have just one cup cake.
-Jon
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