It has been awhile since I wrote here, and I think that is partly to blame for why I have to write this blog post.
Shortly after I stopped writing, I started to drift. It was small things at first, a few raisins here, some extra fruit in my greek yogurt there- then it turned into eating donuts again, and cookies, and candy. To say I fell off the wagon would be an understatement. I stopped tracking what food I was eating, I didn't get back to writing, and I fell back into the old habits that I had been working so hard to replace.
It all started with a simple thought- I can handle this. I thought I could have a bit extra outside of my program, enjoy myself some, and be in control. After all I did 110 days of complete control. I was wrong. Very very wrong.
But I am back on program, and back doing what I need to be doing. I guess I needed that time straying to know that I really can't not think about what I am eating. I really can't just be "normal" or what ever that means. I wrote it in this blog some time ago, and I just wanted it to not be true- but I can not be a person who doesn't think about food. I can not be a person who can just coast and eat well. Maybe some day far in the future that will be me- but for now it is not.
I will be writing here more often. Maybe not every day, and I don't know what the topic will be each day. I think I will start posting some of the good recipes I have tried, and I will certainly be talking about temptation. I hope to post more and more about winning like I used to. I am back to two days in a row of winning. I thought I had this figured out, I thought I had done this. I have to keep finding a way to do this. I have to keep working hard. I can find a way to make my statement true- I can do this. I guess I just don't know how to do it as well as I thought I did.