A day of challenges (Day 2)

Stats for Today : Pre-Breakfast BG- 96, Pre-Lunch BG- 86, Pre-Dinner BG 81. 33 Minutes exercise on the bike in the morning, 30 minutes exercise on the bike in the evening. 4 Shakes, 1 bar eaten. No off eating.

Today was a hard day. I could have made it easier, but I thought having some success early would be good for me. With that in mind I took on a shopping trip that would have in the past insured cheating on a diet. I had to walk through the stores fast, and put blinders on as much as I could, but I made it out of two stores without buying anything I should not. I am proud of myself.

Today was also hard because I dealt with cravings much more than I did yesterday. While my wife was shopping I craved cheese. While making a snack for my son I craved celery. CELERY of all things. I justified it in my head with the idea that eating celery burns more calories than you take in from the celery. I don't know if that is true, but I do know that it would have been a slippery slope for me if I did give in and eat it. My wife made dinner tonight and it smelled sooooo good. But through all of that, I stayed true to this journey.

I have tried too lose weight in a bunch of different ways in the last couple of years. I have started and even kept to exercise programs for 2 to 3 weeks. I started seeing a therapist about over eating, and while never fully buying into it, I did see her a hand full of times and tried to incorporate things she said. But through all of the tries I have never been able to make it more than 3 days without cheating on the food. And once I cheat, it only takes a few days to be right back where I started.

I know in the long run food can not be the enemy. When I quit smoking, and quit caffeine I could make those products the enemy. So it was easier to do since I didn't need either of those two things. Food is different, I can't not eat forever. Food has to be part of my life. For now, I can treat food as the enemy though. I drink my shakes, and eat my bars (the bars are the highlight of my day those things are tasty) and I can treat all other foods as the enemy. I just hope the classes help me find a way to establish food as a good thing again, something I can control and do right. Without that, all of this that I am going through will be meaningless.

On a side note, I tried vanilla again today. I had started out only drinking chocolate shakes today as they tasted much better. But while figuring out what to have for my 3PM shake my head told me vanilla would taste good, and sure enough it did.

Thanks for reading if you are reading. I plan to do at least a stat post each day to keep myself honest in this process. Knowing other people are reading this would help me to stay honest.

-Jon