Key stats: Morning BG 72, evening BG 81. 1 hour exercise on the bike in the evening. 4 shakes, 1 bar, no off eating.
I am now 21 days into this program. I have been writing for 22 days. Never missing a day. I have consumed 15,750 calories since starting this program. I have exercised for nearly 20 hours burning around 4800 calories in the process. I have lost 3.5 sizes off of my ring finger. I can see in my face that I have lost weight, people have said they have noticed that I have lost weight. I just don't know at this point how much I have lost.
Today should have been a weigh in day. I should be happily posting how much I have lost in the last week and how much I have lost total since starting. But I am on the road, and I have it in my head that I will only use the official scale to measure my weight loss. So I will have to wait another week before I find out. It will be next week Friday morning before I know.
My first small goal was to be under 300 pounds. I really wanted to hit that last week, but only got to 304. Now I know it was not reasonable to think I could drop 12 pounds two weeks in a row, but hey you have to dream big to achieve big. I am sure that I am under 300 now. I won't celebrate it though until I see it on the scale. After 300 comes the big hurdle of 260. The lowest I can ever remember my weight being was in boot camp when I weighed in at 254 or so. So 6 pounds above my lowest remembered adult weight just seems unreal to me in so many ways. But the way I am losing pounds and the way I am able to continue doing what I need to do encourages me. I don't know what my final weight goal is going to be, but I do know that I can do this.
-Jon
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Finding out about myself (day 20)
Key Stats: Morning BG 81, evening BG 77. 1 hour exercise on the bike in the evening. 4 shakes, 1 bar, no off eating.
Stress triggers cravings. This trip has been one stress inducing moment after another. This morning while warming up my rental car and talking to my boss the snow plow hit me. Then while riding with my client to one of the radio sites we got rear-ended. I had to fight myself not to go off program.
I have really found that eating is what I have done to calm myself, and to keep myself balanced. I have said that I eat when I am happy, and I eat when I am sad. It was kind of easy to understand eating while sad, the food made me feel better. And eating while happy was a way to raise that level of happiness. I never really noticed that I ate when I was stressed. Looking back on things I can see it, but it took removing eating from what I can do to really see it.
I still worry. Being in the bubble that I am in right now makes things easy. I can treat food as the enemy. The same as I did when I quit smoking, and when I quit caffeine I made them the enemy and said I can never do them again, and it worked. Now what do I do... I would do shakes for the rest of my life if I could, but I can't. So how do I find a way to eat normal food and maintain a healthy weight? I wish I had the answer to that question right now. It sure would make this process easier. But I think the process is really what is going to help me find the answer to that question. I can do this.
-Jon
Stress triggers cravings. This trip has been one stress inducing moment after another. This morning while warming up my rental car and talking to my boss the snow plow hit me. Then while riding with my client to one of the radio sites we got rear-ended. I had to fight myself not to go off program.
I have really found that eating is what I have done to calm myself, and to keep myself balanced. I have said that I eat when I am happy, and I eat when I am sad. It was kind of easy to understand eating while sad, the food made me feel better. And eating while happy was a way to raise that level of happiness. I never really noticed that I ate when I was stressed. Looking back on things I can see it, but it took removing eating from what I can do to really see it.
I still worry. Being in the bubble that I am in right now makes things easy. I can treat food as the enemy. The same as I did when I quit smoking, and when I quit caffeine I made them the enemy and said I can never do them again, and it worked. Now what do I do... I would do shakes for the rest of my life if I could, but I can't. So how do I find a way to eat normal food and maintain a healthy weight? I wish I had the answer to that question right now. It sure would make this process easier. But I think the process is really what is going to help me find the answer to that question. I can do this.
-Jon
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
First Day on the road (day 19)
Key stats: Morning BG 78, evening BG 82. 30 minutes on the bike in the morning, 30 minutes on the elliptical in the afternoon. 4 shakes, 1 bar, no off eating.
Being on the road is harder than being at home. I can stop and get food, or eat what ever I want when I want and no one will see me do it. At home my wife will notice if I order a large pizza for dinner. On the road no notice. So today it came down 100% to will power.
I am proud of myself, because will all that above, and a bunch of stress added in, I stayed on plan. Even when I had to stop at the local gas station/ car repair/ tire center/ grocery store/ BBQ joint/ general store (not kidding it is all of those things) to get a flat tire fixed (after blowing out a tire on a mountain top for the SECOND time) I stayed on plan. When walking past the hotel bar/restaurant and seeing tasty food, I walked past to the exercise room and stayed on plan.
I don't want all the temptation, and I hope at some point it is not such an internal struggle to eat right... I know one thing. I can do this.
-Jon
Being on the road is harder than being at home. I can stop and get food, or eat what ever I want when I want and no one will see me do it. At home my wife will notice if I order a large pizza for dinner. On the road no notice. So today it came down 100% to will power.
I am proud of myself, because will all that above, and a bunch of stress added in, I stayed on plan. Even when I had to stop at the local gas station/ car repair/ tire center/ grocery store/ BBQ joint/ general store (not kidding it is all of those things) to get a flat tire fixed (after blowing out a tire on a mountain top for the SECOND time) I stayed on plan. When walking past the hotel bar/restaurant and seeing tasty food, I walked past to the exercise room and stayed on plan.
I don't want all the temptation, and I hope at some point it is not such an internal struggle to eat right... I know one thing. I can do this.
-Jon
Monday, March 4, 2013
Leaving on a Jet plane (day 18)
Key Stats: Morning BG 73. 1 hour exercise in the morning on the bike, 4 shakes, 1 bar, no off eating.
You'll have to excuse the short post, it is late and I need to be up early.
Today was not an easy day. Having to pack all my food, carry it through an airport, make shakes in the airport, oh and resist temptation. But I did it. I got to VA with no cheating, safe and sound, and still strong on the program. I wish I could say the same for my bags. I had to do a stop at Walmart at 10:30 PM before I checked into my hotel so that I could get underwear, socks, and of course some exercise clothes. I am not going to let not having my bags stop me from achieving my goal. I can do this.
-Jon
You'll have to excuse the short post, it is late and I need to be up early.
Today was not an easy day. Having to pack all my food, carry it through an airport, make shakes in the airport, oh and resist temptation. But I did it. I got to VA with no cheating, safe and sound, and still strong on the program. I wish I could say the same for my bags. I had to do a stop at Walmart at 10:30 PM before I checked into my hotel so that I could get underwear, socks, and of course some exercise clothes. I am not going to let not having my bags stop me from achieving my goal. I can do this.
-Jon
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Getting Packed (day 17)
Key Stats: No BG checks, 1 hour exercise on the bike in the afternoon, 4 shakes, 1 bar, no off eating.
Went to another birthday party again today. Got to face a nice looking cheese platter, cupcakes, and all sorts of other tasty looking things. I have to add the winning tag to this post because, WINNING! I didn't have to fight temptation, I didn't feel like I missed out. I did great.
I am getting packed tonight for my first trip since I started this diet. Things on my packing list include shirts, pants, boxers, socks, work out clothes, and all my food for the entire time. I've packed for a number of trips in the past, but I have never had to bring work out clothes or all of my food. That just feels weird to say. My entire weeks worth of food fits in a small carry on bag. It might just fit in my lap top bag so I won't have to carry two bags on. Wow.
I am going to miss out on class though. That is going to be hard. I am just getting into the groove of this diet, and I have learned about myself at each class. I wish I didn't have to miss. I know I'll be fine though. After all I can do this.
-Jon
Went to another birthday party again today. Got to face a nice looking cheese platter, cupcakes, and all sorts of other tasty looking things. I have to add the winning tag to this post because, WINNING! I didn't have to fight temptation, I didn't feel like I missed out. I did great.
I am getting packed tonight for my first trip since I started this diet. Things on my packing list include shirts, pants, boxers, socks, work out clothes, and all my food for the entire time. I've packed for a number of trips in the past, but I have never had to bring work out clothes or all of my food. That just feels weird to say. My entire weeks worth of food fits in a small carry on bag. It might just fit in my lap top bag so I won't have to carry two bags on. Wow.
I am going to miss out on class though. That is going to be hard. I am just getting into the groove of this diet, and I have learned about myself at each class. I wish I didn't have to miss. I know I'll be fine though. After all I can do this.
-Jon
Saturday, March 2, 2013
A reminder of help (day 16)
Key Stats: Morning BG 82, evening BG 74. 1 hour on the bike in the afternoon. 4 shakes, 1 bar, no off eating.
My wife has stepped up big time to help me through this process. She has taken over all the cooking, and food shopping so that I don't have to deal with handling food. That has helped in so many ways, and I really learned that today. I was home alone with my son while she was out shopping and it was snack time. My son asked for cheese for his snack. If I am asked on a form to tell alittle about myself I almost always will write "I enjoy cheese." So going and cutting my son a few pieces of cheese, and not having some myself turned out to be quite difficult. I am proud of myself though as I got him his cheese and did not eat any. It was not easy though.
I can't get pizza out of my mind. I really should have gotten pizza as my last meal. As I was driving to swim lessons with my wife and son I swear every place we drove by was a pizza place. Pizza is following me. I wish there was a pizza flavored shake, or bar. I am worried about my resolve while on the road away from home. Pizza was always something I would get, and over indulge on. I am going to have to find a way to bring pizza in after I transition in a healthy way. I hope the cravings get easier over time. I find it funny though that as I sit here writing about pizza, and wanting to eat a bunch of pizza, I am not hungry. I think that is how VLCD is going to help me in the long run. I have to learn that just because I want to eat something doesn't mean my body needs to eat it. I am not hungry, I am just craving. I used to think I would start to crave because I was hungry. I am learning, and I know that I can do this.
-Jon
My wife has stepped up big time to help me through this process. She has taken over all the cooking, and food shopping so that I don't have to deal with handling food. That has helped in so many ways, and I really learned that today. I was home alone with my son while she was out shopping and it was snack time. My son asked for cheese for his snack. If I am asked on a form to tell alittle about myself I almost always will write "I enjoy cheese." So going and cutting my son a few pieces of cheese, and not having some myself turned out to be quite difficult. I am proud of myself though as I got him his cheese and did not eat any. It was not easy though.
I can't get pizza out of my mind. I really should have gotten pizza as my last meal. As I was driving to swim lessons with my wife and son I swear every place we drove by was a pizza place. Pizza is following me. I wish there was a pizza flavored shake, or bar. I am worried about my resolve while on the road away from home. Pizza was always something I would get, and over indulge on. I am going to have to find a way to bring pizza in after I transition in a healthy way. I hope the cravings get easier over time. I find it funny though that as I sit here writing about pizza, and wanting to eat a bunch of pizza, I am not hungry. I think that is how VLCD is going to help me in the long run. I have to learn that just because I want to eat something doesn't mean my body needs to eat it. I am not hungry, I am just craving. I used to think I would start to crave because I was hungry. I am learning, and I know that I can do this.
-Jon
Friday, March 1, 2013
Learning about myself (day 15)
Key stats: Morning BG 84, 30 minutes on the bike in the morning, 30 minutes in the evening. 4 shakes, 1 bar, no off eating.
Today I got to learn about hunger and cravings. I went to a birthday party for a 2 year old and pizza and cupcakes were being served. Cupcakes were easy, I avoided cupcakes once before so that just made it easier. The pizza however proved to be a challenge.
I know I was not hungry. That pizza looked so good though. And my head started to tell myself that I was starving. I really could have sat down and just ate the whole thing. But I was not hungry, why did the sight of the pizza make me want to eat? Certainly stress played a part, today was a very difficult day at work for me and my normal stress reaction to to eat. Certainly old habits played a part as pizza has always been my go to, can eat any time, always makes me happy food. At one point I was in the kitchen all by myself looking at the closed pizza boxes and thinking I could just eat one piece. What would one piece be in the grand scheme of things. I would probaly still lose weight and would be just fine. Why not just have the one piece? But I know it would not have been one piece, and one time. I do not want to fall down the slippery slope. If I fail at this I know I will need to face surgery to get and be healthy.
I wish I didn't have to struggle like this with eating. I hope at some point I can figure out why I eat when I shouldn't. Why cravings can trigger the feeling of hunger? Do other people go through this? Do other normal weight people just deal with that feeling better? Have I just been weak my whole life?
To make matters worse, getting on the bike tonight was a chore. I just wanted to go to bed and get some sleep. But I didn't. I went downstairs, I rode my bike, and now I am sitting here writing this blog. I am going to do this. I am going to find a way to break my relationship with food. I am going to make exercise a normal part of my life. I am going to figure this out. I can do this.
-Jon
P.S. I got my first comment from a person I don't know. I loved getting that comment and knowing people were reading my blog. Feel free to leave a comment below, and share this blog with anyone who might benefit from it.I have not found my site yet with a google search. I guess I have to start posting the address in places to try and increase the chances of some one finding this.
Today I got to learn about hunger and cravings. I went to a birthday party for a 2 year old and pizza and cupcakes were being served. Cupcakes were easy, I avoided cupcakes once before so that just made it easier. The pizza however proved to be a challenge.
I know I was not hungry. That pizza looked so good though. And my head started to tell myself that I was starving. I really could have sat down and just ate the whole thing. But I was not hungry, why did the sight of the pizza make me want to eat? Certainly stress played a part, today was a very difficult day at work for me and my normal stress reaction to to eat. Certainly old habits played a part as pizza has always been my go to, can eat any time, always makes me happy food. At one point I was in the kitchen all by myself looking at the closed pizza boxes and thinking I could just eat one piece. What would one piece be in the grand scheme of things. I would probaly still lose weight and would be just fine. Why not just have the one piece? But I know it would not have been one piece, and one time. I do not want to fall down the slippery slope. If I fail at this I know I will need to face surgery to get and be healthy.
I wish I didn't have to struggle like this with eating. I hope at some point I can figure out why I eat when I shouldn't. Why cravings can trigger the feeling of hunger? Do other people go through this? Do other normal weight people just deal with that feeling better? Have I just been weak my whole life?
To make matters worse, getting on the bike tonight was a chore. I just wanted to go to bed and get some sleep. But I didn't. I went downstairs, I rode my bike, and now I am sitting here writing this blog. I am going to do this. I am going to find a way to break my relationship with food. I am going to make exercise a normal part of my life. I am going to figure this out. I can do this.
-Jon
P.S. I got my first comment from a person I don't know. I loved getting that comment and knowing people were reading my blog. Feel free to leave a comment below, and share this blog with anyone who might benefit from it.I have not found my site yet with a google search. I guess I have to start posting the address in places to try and increase the chances of some one finding this.
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