Key Stats: No BG checks, 4 shakes 1 bar no off eating. No formal exercise (but a TON of walking around)
Today we went to a birthday party that was at a park near the zoo. I ran around with my son. I walked around the zoo. I stood and talked to people. I ran around the play ground. I was on my feet for at least 3 hours straight. I also did all of the shopping, and ran a bunch of errands. And I am paying for it right now.
It appears with my foot getting smaller I won't have ingrown toe nail problems as much. A ingrown toe nail popped out of the skin in my big toe. Every step hurts like hell. My quads are burning constantly. My hips hurt. With no back pain telling me when to stop I guess my new limiter for now is going to be my legs. I guess I am glad it is not my back, but I hope to get rid of this limit also.
I see my primary care doctor tomorrow. I am betting it is going to be one of the best appointments I have ever had with a doctor. I look forward to hearing good job, and not about what I am doing to hurt myself. I still have a long ways to go, but I really am on the road and making progress. I can do this.
-Jon
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
A family walk(day 51)
Key Stats: No BG checks (left meter at work again), 4 shakes 1 bar, chick broth, no off eating. 20 minute walk.
I had not gotten to exercise today like I had planned. I was all set to go to the pool and get some swimming in when I got to be super helpful husband. I enjoy moments like that when I can take the stress of something going wrong from my wife and help out. So that is what I did. I will get to the pool tomorrow though. But since the pool was out I still wanted to get some exercise in. So after I got back I said "Lets take a family walk"
My son exploded off the couch yelling happily about taking a family walk. Have I been depriving him of that his whole life? I hope that is not the case. In any case we had a bunch of fun. I didn't walk fast, or really walk with the thought of exercising, but I walked with my family. I enjoyed the fact that I could walk and then hang around outside after and not get lower back pain. In fact I didn't really notice that pain didn't come on until just now. Before all the walks we would take would bring on pain so much that I really did avoid them. I still find myself sitting down when ever possible just to avoid pain coming on, but the pain doesn't come. How trained am I to avoid pain? I look forward to reversing that training. I look forward to more family walks. I look forward to running with my son more when he asks me too (I couldn't today, still recovering from muscle soreness from swimming Thursday night). But soon I will. More and more I am feeling the health that I am gaining. If the 270's feel this good, I can't wait to find out what the 230's feel like. I can do this.
-Jon
I had not gotten to exercise today like I had planned. I was all set to go to the pool and get some swimming in when I got to be super helpful husband. I enjoy moments like that when I can take the stress of something going wrong from my wife and help out. So that is what I did. I will get to the pool tomorrow though. But since the pool was out I still wanted to get some exercise in. So after I got back I said "Lets take a family walk"
My son exploded off the couch yelling happily about taking a family walk. Have I been depriving him of that his whole life? I hope that is not the case. In any case we had a bunch of fun. I didn't walk fast, or really walk with the thought of exercising, but I walked with my family. I enjoyed the fact that I could walk and then hang around outside after and not get lower back pain. In fact I didn't really notice that pain didn't come on until just now. Before all the walks we would take would bring on pain so much that I really did avoid them. I still find myself sitting down when ever possible just to avoid pain coming on, but the pain doesn't come. How trained am I to avoid pain? I look forward to reversing that training. I look forward to more family walks. I look forward to running with my son more when he asks me too (I couldn't today, still recovering from muscle soreness from swimming Thursday night). But soon I will. More and more I am feeling the health that I am gaining. If the 270's feel this good, I can't wait to find out what the 230's feel like. I can do this.
-Jon
Friday, April 5, 2013
Date night (day 50)
Key Stats: All BG's normal. 4 shakes 1 bar, no off eating. 30 minutes on the bike in the morning, 20 minute walk for lunch.
This will be a short post, tonight is date night. It is still weird to think about date night and not be planning what treat I will get to have. I even almost got a treat for my wife to have just so it felt right. But like I said in an earlier post, these nights can not be about treats. Of course as I say that I see my wife has gotten out some icecream and is enjoying that while I write this. I love that she can be eating the ice cream and I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. I have my water, I'll drink that.
Ok on to date night. I hope everyone reading this finds a person to hold the hand off while enjoying time together tonight. I know it makes my whole week when I get to hold my wife. I also love that my wife can hug me and touch her hands behind my back. She has never been able to do that. It is the little stuff that lets me know that what I am doing is the right thing to do, and that I can do this.
-Jon
This will be a short post, tonight is date night. It is still weird to think about date night and not be planning what treat I will get to have. I even almost got a treat for my wife to have just so it felt right. But like I said in an earlier post, these nights can not be about treats. Of course as I say that I see my wife has gotten out some icecream and is enjoying that while I write this. I love that she can be eating the ice cream and I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. I have my water, I'll drink that.
Ok on to date night. I hope everyone reading this finds a person to hold the hand off while enjoying time together tonight. I know it makes my whole week when I get to hold my wife. I also love that my wife can hug me and touch her hands behind my back. She has never been able to do that. It is the little stuff that lets me know that what I am doing is the right thing to do, and that I can do this.
-Jon
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Gaining? (day 49)
Key Stats: All BG's normal, 4 shakes 1 bar, no off eating. 30 minutes on the bike, 20 minute walk, and 30 minutes in the pool.
You read that right, gaining. But not weight! No what I am gaining is health. On Monday of this week I did a blood draw to get labs done for my up coming doctors appointment. They did a check of my A1c or more accurately stated my Hemoglobin A1c. You can click on the link if you want a detailed explaination of what this test is, but it boils down to it is basically a check of your average BG or blood glucose, or blood sugar for the past 3 months. Now I have been on this program for 49 days. I stopped taking medicine for my BG around 4 days into the program. So I have been off medicine for 45 days roughly. My A1c prior to starting my weight loss journey was 7.4. 7.4 is a crappy A1c, that meant that my average blood sugar was around 186. A normal person or when I say normal BG up above has a blood sugar between 70-100, or a diabetic person should keep their BG between 80-120 (for the record I don't know why the levels are different, but what ever). So my A1c this time... 5.7. Damn right 5.7. That means my average blood sugar over the past 3 months has been 126. Now I KNOW that the next time I get an A1c done it is going to be even lower. I test in the 70-90 range every time I test. That should put me between 4.2 and 4.7. That means I got a GREAT A1c with over half of the time being measured when I was eating crappy food and not taking care of myself. I am going to add the label to this post right now... WINNING.
So what am I winning? What health am I gaining? Diabetes is a disease of aging. It makes your body get old faster. Plain and simple. Unchecked you can lose limbs from poor circulation. You can lose your eye site, lose feeling in your extremities. It is bad for your kidneys, bad for your heart. It is bad for just about every part of you. It is a shitty disease. The first time I was told I had it I put my head in the sand about it for over a year. I stopped going to that doctor, and didn't do a damned thing. I was in shock over it. I am the guy who didn't get cavities, has never broken a bone, didn't get sick often, and felt that I was invincible. But then, not so much. Then when I finally excepted it, I planned to drop weight and go into remission as fast as I could. That was not what happened. Sure at first I dropped some weight, but I gained it back. Slowly the amount of medicine I needed to stay in decent control climbed and climbed. Until just a few months ago when even on the max dose of Metformin my blood sugar was staying high nearly all the time. I was suppose to get better, but I was not I was getting worse. A few months ago my routine blood screening also said that my kidneys were showing signs of stress. I had to do something. I guess that blood test is the reason I am here. Sure the doctor said it wasn't too high yet, but it was something we needed to keep an eye on. But my body was in the start of falling apart. I am 32 years old, my only living son is 2.5 years old and I felt like at the pace I was going I wouldn't get to see him graduate high school. At his young age he already knows about death because of his twin and his big brother and sister. I didn't want him to know about death because of his dad dying. Not at this age at least. I want to watch him grow up, and get married. I want to be a grandfather. Today I got the confirmation that I am doing what I need to do to make sure that happens. I am going to do everything in my power to never have to take diabetes medicine again. Next to get off my list I hope is blood pressure medicine.
On a some what lighter note, 4 more pounds this week. It is really closer to 6 pounds, but the official scale at the official measuring time gives 4 pounds so that is what I record. That means I am down to 276. Nearly 50 pounds down. I also got in the pool today. My arms are killing me, my abs can feel it, but it felt great. I have always love the feeling of swimming and today was no different. Of course when I was swimming every day I didn't remember muscles feeling this sore. But it will get better. My goal is to start getting into the pool 3 times a week.
The more I go through this program, the more I learn about myself. I have learned that I am able to say no to food. I have learned that I was not always hungry, I just had lots of cravings. I have learned that I can become a "normal" eater. I can do this.
-Jon
You read that right, gaining. But not weight! No what I am gaining is health. On Monday of this week I did a blood draw to get labs done for my up coming doctors appointment. They did a check of my A1c or more accurately stated my Hemoglobin A1c. You can click on the link if you want a detailed explaination of what this test is, but it boils down to it is basically a check of your average BG or blood glucose, or blood sugar for the past 3 months. Now I have been on this program for 49 days. I stopped taking medicine for my BG around 4 days into the program. So I have been off medicine for 45 days roughly. My A1c prior to starting my weight loss journey was 7.4. 7.4 is a crappy A1c, that meant that my average blood sugar was around 186. A normal person or when I say normal BG up above has a blood sugar between 70-100, or a diabetic person should keep their BG between 80-120 (for the record I don't know why the levels are different, but what ever). So my A1c this time... 5.7. Damn right 5.7. That means my average blood sugar over the past 3 months has been 126. Now I KNOW that the next time I get an A1c done it is going to be even lower. I test in the 70-90 range every time I test. That should put me between 4.2 and 4.7. That means I got a GREAT A1c with over half of the time being measured when I was eating crappy food and not taking care of myself. I am going to add the label to this post right now... WINNING.
So what am I winning? What health am I gaining? Diabetes is a disease of aging. It makes your body get old faster. Plain and simple. Unchecked you can lose limbs from poor circulation. You can lose your eye site, lose feeling in your extremities. It is bad for your kidneys, bad for your heart. It is bad for just about every part of you. It is a shitty disease. The first time I was told I had it I put my head in the sand about it for over a year. I stopped going to that doctor, and didn't do a damned thing. I was in shock over it. I am the guy who didn't get cavities, has never broken a bone, didn't get sick often, and felt that I was invincible. But then, not so much. Then when I finally excepted it, I planned to drop weight and go into remission as fast as I could. That was not what happened. Sure at first I dropped some weight, but I gained it back. Slowly the amount of medicine I needed to stay in decent control climbed and climbed. Until just a few months ago when even on the max dose of Metformin my blood sugar was staying high nearly all the time. I was suppose to get better, but I was not I was getting worse. A few months ago my routine blood screening also said that my kidneys were showing signs of stress. I had to do something. I guess that blood test is the reason I am here. Sure the doctor said it wasn't too high yet, but it was something we needed to keep an eye on. But my body was in the start of falling apart. I am 32 years old, my only living son is 2.5 years old and I felt like at the pace I was going I wouldn't get to see him graduate high school. At his young age he already knows about death because of his twin and his big brother and sister. I didn't want him to know about death because of his dad dying. Not at this age at least. I want to watch him grow up, and get married. I want to be a grandfather. Today I got the confirmation that I am doing what I need to do to make sure that happens. I am going to do everything in my power to never have to take diabetes medicine again. Next to get off my list I hope is blood pressure medicine.
On a some what lighter note, 4 more pounds this week. It is really closer to 6 pounds, but the official scale at the official measuring time gives 4 pounds so that is what I record. That means I am down to 276. Nearly 50 pounds down. I also got in the pool today. My arms are killing me, my abs can feel it, but it felt great. I have always love the feeling of swimming and today was no different. Of course when I was swimming every day I didn't remember muscles feeling this sore. But it will get better. My goal is to start getting into the pool 3 times a week.
The more I go through this program, the more I learn about myself. I have learned that I am able to say no to food. I have learned that I was not always hungry, I just had lots of cravings. I have learned that I can become a "normal" eater. I can do this.
-Jon
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Lookin' good(day 48)
Key stats: all BG's normal. 4 shakes 1 bar, no off eating. 20 minute walk at lunch, 30 minutes on the elliptical in the evening.
More and more people are starting to comment that I am looking good. My belt stretches more than a quarter of the way around me. My clothes are getting looser and looser. My wedding ring is loose enough to take another half size out of it. When I wear dress socks I don't get elastic marks in my skin from where they were too tight. All in all the real effects on my size and what people notice are really starting to kick in. I almost can't wait to see how people who have not seen me in months are going to react. It will be even better since many of them won't know I am doing this. I doubt I will ever tire of being noticed for being smaller.
Tomorrow is a weigh in day. I doubt I will have a big number to post on here. My last weigh in was a morning weigh in and this one will be in the evening. My downstairs scale has only shown about a 2 pound weight loss for the week. All in all it will be a let down I am sure. But.. I will not let it keep me down. I restarted my exercise program this week, so my body might be holding onto water more than normal. I don't think I have put myself into starvation mode or anything but the added might have been enough to change things. Either way the weight HAS to come off. If not this week, then it will be next week. Already I have seen that happen while I was on the road. And with all the plus side of things that I am seeing how can I not just stick with it. As I have told people who have asked me about the weight loss and when they hear how I am doing it, this is really quite easy. You drink shakes and eat a bar, hunger goes away, and you lose weight. Really it is that simple. It is going to be keeping it off that is hard. But I know that I can do it.
-Jon
More and more people are starting to comment that I am looking good. My belt stretches more than a quarter of the way around me. My clothes are getting looser and looser. My wedding ring is loose enough to take another half size out of it. When I wear dress socks I don't get elastic marks in my skin from where they were too tight. All in all the real effects on my size and what people notice are really starting to kick in. I almost can't wait to see how people who have not seen me in months are going to react. It will be even better since many of them won't know I am doing this. I doubt I will ever tire of being noticed for being smaller.
Tomorrow is a weigh in day. I doubt I will have a big number to post on here. My last weigh in was a morning weigh in and this one will be in the evening. My downstairs scale has only shown about a 2 pound weight loss for the week. All in all it will be a let down I am sure. But.. I will not let it keep me down. I restarted my exercise program this week, so my body might be holding onto water more than normal. I don't think I have put myself into starvation mode or anything but the added might have been enough to change things. Either way the weight HAS to come off. If not this week, then it will be next week. Already I have seen that happen while I was on the road. And with all the plus side of things that I am seeing how can I not just stick with it. As I have told people who have asked me about the weight loss and when they hear how I am doing it, this is really quite easy. You drink shakes and eat a bar, hunger goes away, and you lose weight. Really it is that simple. It is going to be keeping it off that is hard. But I know that I can do it.
-Jon
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Minefield (day 47)
Key Stats: All normal BG's, 4 shakes 1 bar no off eating. 30 min on the bike in the morning, 20 min walk for lunch, 30 min on the bike in the evening.
I was suppose to go swimming today, I am very sad that it didn't work out. I made too many assumptions about what would be ready, and it turns out I was not ready enough to get there on time. I will get to the pool Thursday night. I didn't let that stop me from getting some exercise in tonight though and I rode. It feels good to have exercise be part of the routine and not having to drag myself to do it. I have to find a way to make this part of my life.
The break-room at work has turned into a mine field. We have so much junk food that the table and multiple counters are being used to hold it all. It is down right silly. But I can walk into that room, look at the food, smile about how silly it is, and make my shake or get my water with no internal struggle about eating the food. I can not believe I have been able to get to a point like that were NOT grabbing the junk food and eating feels more normal than the thought of eating the food. And all that in just 47 days. Now I know that this is not a permanent change and I still have a lot to work through to be a "normal" eater, but I am going to put up the winning flag and enjoy it. Sure I still have a long way to go, a lot of work to do, and none of this is going to be easy, but I can do this.
-Jon
I was suppose to go swimming today, I am very sad that it didn't work out. I made too many assumptions about what would be ready, and it turns out I was not ready enough to get there on time. I will get to the pool Thursday night. I didn't let that stop me from getting some exercise in tonight though and I rode. It feels good to have exercise be part of the routine and not having to drag myself to do it. I have to find a way to make this part of my life.
The break-room at work has turned into a mine field. We have so much junk food that the table and multiple counters are being used to hold it all. It is down right silly. But I can walk into that room, look at the food, smile about how silly it is, and make my shake or get my water with no internal struggle about eating the food. I can not believe I have been able to get to a point like that were NOT grabbing the junk food and eating feels more normal than the thought of eating the food. And all that in just 47 days. Now I know that this is not a permanent change and I still have a lot to work through to be a "normal" eater, but I am going to put up the winning flag and enjoy it. Sure I still have a long way to go, a lot of work to do, and none of this is going to be easy, but I can do this.
-Jon
Monday, April 1, 2013
Easter treats (day 46)
Key Stats: All BG's normal. 4 shakes 1 bar no off eating. 30 minutes exercise on the bike in the morning.
Why cookies? Work must have made some company with stock in a a cookie company very happy. We have cookies in the break room, a seemingly never ending supply of cookies. Just when it looks like they are almost gone, another email goes out from the same person saying that MORE cookies are in the break room. Right now with the stock that is in there I am fairly certain I could put back all of the weight I have lost in one afternoon. If that is not enough the common thing to do is to bring in treats from holidays that you did not eat. So the break room has cookies, and all sorts of chocolates, candies, and assorted treats. Fat me would have been very happy.
I am finishing up the Rules to eating "normal" book. The last chapter is on body issues which I thought I didn't have any problems with. But the more I read the chapter the more I am seeing I just didn't realize how much I was hiding from my body issues. I have lower confidence because of being overweight that took me a LONG time to overcome and is honestly something I have to actively work at. It made me a shy person who was afraid to be made fun of, which I still also have to work at to overcome. I think all things considered I do fine in public and I think most people would never even know this was an issue with me. I hide my shyness well, and my lack of self confidence... but these are real issues for me. In some ways I really over compensate because of these issues. I know that losing weight will help me with the body issues, but at the end of the day I need to find a way to be comfortable in my body regardless of what I think it looks like.
I was suppose to exercise tonight. I decided that I was too tired to do it. I have to find the balance between pushing my self to exercise, and pushing too hard and burning out. That is really why I allow myself to decide that the exercise would be too much sometimes. I try not to let it keep me in bed in the morning as a general rule, but if the day was long I feel fine saying I am too tired to exercise this night. It is not an excuse every night but for tonight I am ok with it. Tomorrow night I hit the pool to swim laps. This will be the first time I have swam laps in a few years. I know Wednesday morning I am going to wake up sore, but that is how it goes the first time. Swimming is going to be Tuesday and Thursday night activities for me (unless some one wants to purchase a health club membership for me heh). I hope I find the same joy in swimming as I used to find. I know I can do it, I just hope I can enjoy it.
-Jon
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